Relentless Love

Hey kids,
Happy Easter week 🙂 Today I am reminded of the love that Jesus has for us. Actually, I take that back. I am blown away by the love of Jesus.
Something that has been on my heart A LOT recently is the idea of saying yes to what God has for me – whatever that may be. And with Easter fast approaching, that has led me to studying Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane.
In case you’re not familiar with this story, I’ll catch you up: Jesus has just had His Last Supper with his disciples. He knows He’s about to be arrested and the events are about to begin that will eventually lead to his crucifixion. He is now in the Garden of Gethsemane praying.
Now, just so we’re clear, Jesus did not want to be crucified. He was a human person, He felt pain like a human person, and no human person wants to be crucified. According to Matthew 26:39, Jesus prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me…” This is an understandable statement for anyone to make. But Jesus went on to say, “Yet not as I will, but as You will.”
Not only was Jesus willing to submit His will to God’s, but just a few verses later He reminds Peter that He could call more than twelve legions of angels to get Him out of the captivity of His accusers (Matthew 26:53).
Okay, I know this is a lot, so let’s review:
1. Jesus doesn’t want to die
2. Jesus chooses God’s will over His own
3. Jesus is completely capable of getting out the entire situation
But wait, there’s more. In last couple of verses in John 17 (which tells the same story), Jesus prays that we would know God. That through Him, we would know the love that God has for us. I read that this morning and it struck me to my core. One phrase immediately popped into my head: Jesus’ love is relentless. He loves us so much, He was willing to die. He loves us so much that even when He could’ve easily gotten out of dying, He was willing to do so anyway. He loves us so much, that He wanted us to know God the way He knew God. He wanted that for us. He wanted us to know the love of God. A love unlike anything we’ve ever experienced. A love deeper than any other we’ve ever known. A love that endures above all things. A love that is relentless.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

Stay sweet, happy Easter, Jesus loves you. Relentlessly.
Caroline Victoria

Immeasurably More

Hello all, I’ve crawled out of hiding once again to blow your minds with some inspirational mumbo jumbo.

No seriously, I have something to say lol.

So it’s 2018. Crazy, right? The new year has come and gone and I’ve found myself looking for a new mantra for these next 365 days (even less than that now). Well the search is over, because last night I found one. It’s Ephesians 3:20.

I literally love this. Like, not figuratively. Literally. One translation even says, “immeasurably more.” Just think on that for a quick sec. Our God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m believing God for a lot of things this year. So much so, that when I start to think about everything that I want to accomplish in 2018 I kinda start totally buggin’. Totally buggin’, that is, until I remember how big the God is that we serve. Until I remember that He is able to do immeasurably more than I might ask or think. See, when I think about all that in my terms, it seems impossible. I think to myself, “How can I do all these things in just one year?” But my terms are not God’s terms, and where I see impossible He sees possible.

In 2018, I’m devoting my time, energy, whole heart, and my whole life to trusting Jesus and believing that He’s going to work. Believing that where my works and my efforts aren’t enough, He’s going to show Himself. And finally, believing that I can continue drawing myself and others closer to Him through the way I live my life. Not for me, but for Him.

Because He is deserving of all glory. Because He is able to do immeasurably more…

Stay sweet, y’all, and happy new year. 🙂
Caroline

Time to Start Setting Intentions

“Be intentional.”

There’s a phrase I’ve heard about a million times. But what does that mean, really? Be intentional how? With what?
Recently I’ve decided to really knuckle down and ACT on this advice rather than just hearing it and letting those two little words go in one ear and out the other. I’ve decided to “be intentional,” and in order to make it more of a reality I chose three areas to target specifically.
If you’ve been feeling lost (like I was) at all in any kind of way, this post is for you. It’s time for you to set some intentions in your life. It’s time to get specific.

BE INTENTIONAL IN:
Your Productivity
This will be different for different people. For me, I felt I wasn’t being productive enough in my schoolwork. I felt I was placing way too much importance on things that shouldn’t take precedence above school. Because of this, I decided to delete my Instagram and my Twitter apps – at least while I’m in New York and in school – because, while social media wasn’t the thing that was taking my attention away from school, it definitely was not helping. I felt trapped in keeping up a certain image, or caring too much about what certain people thought about me. However, since cutting out social media, it’s easier to ignore other’s opinions of me and focus on the things that really matter. If you’re feeling lost at all I highly recommend taking a break from social media as a starting point.

Your Relationships
This is so important. I understand how hard it can be to live this and not just talk a good game. If you have people in your life who drag you down, or distance you from the person you want to be, it is imperative that you begin to distance yourself from them! Even if you think they need you and vice versa. I recently learned the hard way that I can’t fix everybody. I have a bad habit of wanting to save everyone, and the unfortunate truth of the matter is that I just can’t. I’m not God. There comes a point where I need to step back and make sure I’m not helping people to the point of neglecting my own well being.
This also goes the other way. While it’s important to begin weeding out the bad relationships, it’s equally as important to cultivate the good ones. Be intentional in your relationships with people who make you better and who build you up. Make sure to check in on them, send them an encouraging word, just let them know you’re thinking of them and that they matter to you.
Lastly, and this one is optional depending on your religious beliefs, be intentional in your relationship with God. I know, sometimes you wake up late and don’t have time for a devo in the morning. I’ve been there. But you can always talk to God. Always. The Bible says to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I’ve been trying as much as possible to be in constant communication with God – even if that means putting my phone up to my ear as I pray on my walk to the subway so as to not look completely crazy. Even though it is New York and people have probably seen much crazier things haha.

Your Mental Health
Here’s the thing y’all, I feel like we overlook our own mental health way too much. We oftentimes get so wrapped up in helping others that we forget to help ourselves. It is essential to be setting aside time for yourself in the midst of all your productivity and growing relationships. Be intentional with your “me time.” Make a specific plan to read, or watch a movie, or go exploring, or clean your apartment, or whatever it is that you like to do in order to recharge and maintain your sanity. And make it important. Don’t let other things get in the way of the time you’ve set aside for yourself.

In a nutshell, let’s decide together to get specific. I’ve set some really specific goals and intentions in the past week and have already witnessed myself simply feeling more grounded. More stable. I feel as though I’ve regained my sense of purpose and I definitely don’t feel as lost and “not myself” as I did a few weeks ago… If you’re feeling these things, it’s time to be intentional. Take it from me, it really helps.

I love y’all.
Remember: you’re loved, you’re important, and you’re worth so so much.

Stay sweet,
Caroline

Loved in Your Darkest Moments

Happy Sunday, y’all.

Unfortunately I have seen so many examples in my lifetime of people feeling like they’re not good enough for God. As if they’re too messed up, or they’ve done too many wrong things, and they’re just past the point of no return. As if God “couldn’t love them” because of who they are and what they’ve done…

Now, my heart has hurt for many reasons before, but nothing breaks my heart as much as this. “For God so loved the world…” (John 3:16). That includes you. That includes each one of us. Insert your name where it says “world” because it’s talking about you. “For God so loved YOU that He gave His one and only son…” And the beautiful thing is, yes there are a lot of us that Jesus died to save, but if it were only you? If the only person He needed to die for was you? He wouldn’t have changed a thing. Each one of us, individually, is worth so much – is worth dying for.

One of my favorite passages of scripture is Romans 5:6-8. And to explain why I’m going to break it down verse by verse.

Verse 6 says Christ died for the ungodly. Next time you feel like you’re not “good enough” to receive God’s love, like you’re not “pure” enough, or you’ve messed up “too many times,” remember this: none of us are, and Jesus died for us for that very reason – because we weren’t good enough, because we weren’t pure enough, and because we just can’t seem to stop messing up.
Verse 7 explains that if we were “good,” what would be the point? Christ wouldn’t need to save us if we had it all together. Were that the case, what would we need to be saved from?
Verse 8. Man I love verse 8. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We are worth it, y’all. We are worth so much more than we can even fathom. Verse 8 tells us that Jesus loved you at your darkest. No matter how horribly you messed up, no matter what the “worst” is that you think you’ve ever been, Jesus loves you just the same in those darkest of moments. His love is unfaltering, it never changes, and it never fails.

Friends, please remember this the next time you feel like you’re not good enough for Christ’s love. If you feel like God isn’t with you because you’re too much of a mess. Know that nothing could be further from the truth. The very reasons you feel like God couldn’t love you are the very reasons that He does.

You are loved more than you will ever know, by someone who died to know you.

Stay sweet,
Caroline Victoria

in every season…

Hi friends,
It’s honesty hour. Lately I’ve felt pretty lost. I’m not quite sure what it is that’s making me feel that way, either. I guess I’ve felt sort of distanced from God for whatever reason.

Sometimes we go through good seasons and bad. I definitely wouldn’t call this a “bad” season, as I’m actually quite happy (God is faithful even when I feel like I’m not, how encouraging!), but it’s a confusing one. I feel that it’s a season of being tested. Sometimes I find it hard to totally stand up for myself. Many times I let things slide that I’m actually not okay with. I’m trying to be better at it but, like most things, that’s easier said than done.
My biggest comfort in this season, and in every season, is that I am not alone. No matter how lonely or confused I feel or unwilling I am to defend myself and my beliefs, I am comforted in knowing that my God goes before me and will never fail me. I’m choosing to walk confidently into this morning and every morning after it – knowing that Jesus holds my future and guides my steps. Even when I don’t have the slightest clue what I’m doing. :p

I’ve decided to take today by storm, regardless of my season or how I’m feeling in this moment.
How will you approach each season? How will you approach today?

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” -Deuteronomy 31:8

Stay sweet,
Caroline Victoria

in spite of everything…

 

Hey y’all,
It’s been a while.

I just wanted to take a minute to make this known: I am PROUD to be an American.
I love this country. I love what it stands for. I love that it was founded on ideals that I can get behind. I love that we have the freedoms that we do. I love that my Christian place of worship at home in Maryland is literally right next door to a Muslim one. I love that in this country that’s possible. I love that I have the right to say what I want, though I don’t always exercise that right (I’m working on being more brave about my opinions, okay? lol). I love that other people have the right to say what they want. I love having discussions with people who think differently than I do, and not taking any of it personally. I love that there are so many men and women who are brave enough to fight for the freedoms I take for granted every day. I love that some people can choose to take a knee during our National Anthem and some can choose to stand…

I love this country with all my heart, and that doesn’t change with whoever happens to be elected into office. That doesn’t change when a law is passed that I don’t agree with, or people have opinions that are different from mine, or some ignorant person (or people) does things that I don’t approve of. It is then that I wear my patriotism more proudly. It’s then that I wave the flag even higher. It’s then that I do my absolute best to take action that will UNIFY and not tear apart.
No matter what is going on socially or politically, my patriotism remains. My patriotism is not so fickle as to falter when the president is not someone I can get behind. I’ll be honest, I’ve never really seen a president I can truly get behind in my lifetime.
Yet my love for our great nation remains. Because I believe in what this country stands for at its core. Because I’m so grateful for our freedoms and for everyone who has sacrificed even a little bit in order to maintain those freedoms.

Today and every day, I am PROUD to be an American, and I just wanted everyone to know.

Stay sweet,
Caroline

To the boy I’m going to marry:

Since the beginning of 2017 I’ve developed a new habit. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not looking for a relationship right now, and that I would never want to jump into anything that I’m not ready for. But every once in a while I get lonely.  I am human after all.

In those moments of feeling alone and wishing I had my buddy for life, I write. To him. I’ve gotten in the habit of writing letters, each one of which begins with the phrase, “to the boy I’m going to marry:”

I’m not sure if the boy I end up marrying will ever see these letters. I still haven’t decided. But it’s a great outlet for me when I need to talk to that someone who, unfortunately, I have not had the pleasure of meeting yet.

I have decided to include one of my letters in this post to give a little bit of an idea of what I’m talking about. And to suggest to you, the reader, that if you’re ever feeling lonely to try this out.

So, without further ado…

 

To the boy I’m going to marry:

Do you ever think about how much fun we’re going to have? I think about that all the time. I can’t wait to just explore with you. And go on adventures with you. It’s gonna be so fun. I’m not trying to wish away the present, because I really do love my life currently, but sometimes I think it would be really nice to have that partner in crime already. You know, just to have someone who always wants to do things with me. 

I wonder where I’ll find you. Where will our epic life adventure begin? Is it gonna be in New York? Will we wander together through the Concrete Jungle in our coats and hats and eat lemon cake (the best lemon cake in the world, btw) at Levain up on the Upper West Side? Is it gonna be in Los Angeles? Will we explore La La Land in our shorts and tees and go surfing (maybe I could learn lol) on the beach? 

What about baseball? Do you love the Orioles like I do? Will we be rooting against each other at ball games? What team is your team? I guess I could learn to love them also… just as long as it’s not the Yankees, Red Sox, Toronto, Kansas City, Pirates, or Nationals. If it’s not any of those teams then we should get along quite nicely 😉

I cannot wait to meet you and start our adventure. I hope you know how wonderful you are and how loved you are. I hope you know and trust that God is holding your future. I hope you don’t worry about that. I pray for you all the time. I pray that your heart is so wrapped in and in love with Jesus that I never once have to worry about how you’re going to love me. And most of all I just pray that you’re happy. I hope life is treating you well and you’re enjoying every crazy second of it. I know I am. 🙂 

love,

the girl you’re going to marry

 

Stay sweet, y’all.

Caroline

why you shouldn’t enter that relationship.

So you’re single, right? And you just want somebody to love, right? I get that. I really do.

I am constantly sitting around planning out my life with my future husband. Like, constantly. “Wouldn’t it be cute if we did this,” “it’d be awesome if we went here,” “oh, I’ll definitely be putting that in my wedding.” These are my thoughts on the daily, I kid you not.
The thing is, though, that just because you’re single doesn’t mean you should date the first guy you have a crush on. You shouldn’t say yes to the first guy who asks you out. No matter how gorgeous he is. Or how hard it may be to say no because of said gorgeousness. ;p

Here’s why.

After flying solo for quite some time (quite some time lollll), I’ve figured out a thing or two about myself. Time has made the pitfalls of my past relationships very clear to me. I’ve learned that I actually can do very well on my own. I’ve realized new things that I want. I’ve stopped worrying about my love life for long enough to see in others the type love I want in my own life. A love that’s true and real and good. A love that sees my faults and helps me overcome them. A love that builds me up and encourages me and never pressures me to be something I’m not. A love that causes me to soar. And what’s more, I want to be that love to somebody else.

The biggest thing I’ve figured out after all this time, is that I want my next relationship to be it. I’ve spent the time working on myself and growing on my own into the person I’m going to be (somewhat. I am still 19 after all, let’s everybody calm down), and I want my next person to be my person. Think about it this way, if you spend a year or two or four or seven working on you, why on earth would you want to throw yourself into a relationship with whoever comes along first? All of the growing will have been for naught if you don’t use what you’ve learned and apply it to your next relationship.

True, the next guy you consider dating could potentially be the one for you. But he could not. So please, for the love of God, hold firmly to your convictions, remember what it is you truly want, and say no if this guy doesn’t match up with that. I have seen too many people that I love say they’ve “learned” something from being hurt before and then jump right in to the next thing that comes along. If he’s not what you’ve truly envisioned for yourself, let him go! Choose to have a little faith and don’t just act on your loneliness. Believe that the right relationship is on its way. And if it hasn’t arrived yet, maybe you’re not done learning. Maybe you’ve still got some growing to do.

I want what’s best for everyone. I want everyone to have their epic love story and their perfect match and all that mushy stuff. But I also want the right relationships for everyone.

Don’t waste your time in the wrong relationship. Don’t postpone your happiness.

I love you guys, stay sweet.
Caroline Victoria

10 Days

There are ten days until I go home. Ten days until I’m back in Maryland – the place I love with all my heart. Ten days until I can be with my family. Ten days until pizza Fridays and charades and movie nights. Ten days until sitting in the kitchen arguing about everything. Ten days until having homemade smoothies and watching Little House on the Prairie with my little sister. Ten days until playing piano and singing with my brother. Ten days until car rides jamming to 80s pop music with my big sister. Ten days until I can just walk into my mom’s room whenever I need a hug or to talk. Ten days until people constantly remind me how much I’m like my father. Ten days until cousin sleepovers, and late night McDonalds trips, and playing cards all night long. Ten days until I can pet my puppy and see his handsome new haircut.

This year has been crazy, and living in New York has been quite the adventure. In many ways I’ve had to grow up more than ever and adulting is hard work (#apartmenthuntingSUCKS). But in ten days I get to go home to my parents house and be a kid again. And I couldn’t be more excited.

Stay sweet,
Caroline

Obey and Go.

“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.” – Hebrews 11:8

A little over a year ago, I felt God calling me to leave the college I was attending at the time. I discussed it with my parents, I dropped out after my first semester, and I went home. About 3 months later I was accepted into the conservatory in NYC that I am attending now. I was excited about it, but I had grown comfortable with being home. I then spent 5 more months at home before the time came to make the move to New York. I had spent an entire summer working, interning at church, being with my family, and if I’m being completely honest, by the time September rolled around I did not want to leave. At all.

But I did. I did my best to remember the way I felt while I was at college. I had felt stagnant. I felt that God was telling me there was something else for me. And after facing much rejection during my semester at school, there was no doubt in my mind that it was no accident when I got accepted into the first and only conservatory I auditioned for after dropping out of college. I remembered all these things and I went to New York.

My first year here in this big, bad, crazy city is coming to a close, and I’m going to be honest with you all: it’s been (without a doubt) the most difficult year of my life. It’s also been exciting and thrilling and I’ve met some amazing people and learned so much. But there has never been one day that I didn’t wish I were at home. Not one. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – if I could do what I want to do (at the level I want to do it) from home, I would. But that’s not possible, and it’s certainly not what I feel God has told me to do.

Maybe you’re in a season of life where you feel lost. Maybe you wish God had called you to something else – something easier, closer to home, or more convenient. I just want to remind you of two things:
1. God is all you need to be happy. You may be feeling discontentment in your calling at the moment, but trust Him. Lean into Him and I promise you’ll find peace.
2. It may hurt now, but remember you’ll be blessed because you’ve listened to God. The other day my dad said to me, “There’s a reason a Mercedes costs what it costs and a Yaris costs what it costs. The bigger the price, the bigger the reward.”

God called Abraham to a place where He knew Abraham would be blessed. Abraham may not have known that, but nevertheless he obeyed and went.
So if you feel God calling you somewhere, even though it may be hard to step into the unknown, obey and go. Trust that God will guide you and know that He is all you really need to be happy. And be blessed.

Stay sweet,
Caroline