Living

What Makes You Different…

Everyone is different, did you know that?  I know you’ve heard it said a million and one times, but I mean did you really know it?  If you really know it, do you act like it?  Do you let yourself, and others, live it out?

You probably have some things about yourself that most people would say are “weird.”  Everyone has those things – but do you embrace them?  Do you take pride in knowing that you’re incredibly unique and there never has been and never will be anyone exactly like you?

It’s something to be proud of, I think.

How about this one, though: Do you allow others to be proud of what makes them unique?

We all have things that inspire us.  Things that drive us to do better, to laugh harder, to love deeper.  The things that inspire and motivate you may be completely different than the things that inspire and motivate your neighbor.  We have different interests, different hobbies, and we experience things that affect us in different ways.

That being said, who are we to judge what causes other people to soar?  Two people can watch the same movie/TV show, or listen to the same song, or read the same book, and one can walk away completely unaffected while the other walks away completely changed.

Please don’t ever let anyone look down on you because you seem different – because your art is different than their art.  You may love the world of business, while the next person loves painting, while the next person always has their nose in a book, while the next person loves sports, while the next person is absolutely fascinated by cars and what makes them run, etc.  There is a plethora of things that make you who you are, and those things are what determine where you find inspiration.  Don’t let anyone look down on your source of inspiration because they can’t see how on earth that thing can “change your life.”  They don’t see it because it’s not their life to be changed.

Personally, I think I am most inspired through words.  I find motivation in poetic writing, whether it be a quote from a book, the lyrics of a song, or a line in a movie.  I have yet to find someone who places as much importance on writing, and literature, and even grammar (nerd alert :p) as I do – especially someone remotely close to my own age.  This has discouraged me in the past, feeling like I don’t have anyone to relate to, but over time I’ve learned to appreciate those attributes that make me different.  And you should too!

After all, the Backstreet Boys said it best: “What makes you different makes you beautiful.”  Lol gotta love those Backstreet Boys.

Embrace your differences, love your authenticity, and remember that weird is rad, fellas 😉

 

Stay sweet,

Caroline

 

Two Halves Don’t Make a Whole

Hello, it’s me again, here to shatter everyone’s romantic notions of how love works.  I seem to be good at that.

Have you ever heard someone talk about trying to find their other half?  Have you ever been the one to say something about it?  I know, we all want to find that person who “completes” us – that person who makes us feel whole.

Isn’t that romantic?

Here’s the part where I shatter the romanticism.  I like to call this the fun part. LOL

Contrary to what the world says, we are not halves floating around in space waiting to be completed by other halves.  It’s a nice sentiment, but it’s false.  A person needs to be whole, and content with themselves, and completed only by God.  THEN they can worry about finding another completely whole person who encourages them to be a better version of themselves.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to find the love of your life.  I think that comes with being a human being.  However, there is something wrong with trying to use another human to complete you.  That person may fill the emptiness in your heart for a short while, but without God that emptiness is sure to return.

Believe that there is someone out there for you.  Hope for it.  Wish for it.  Pray for it.  But make sure that all the while you are seeking God first and foremost.  Pray for the future love of your life – that he is seeking God as well.  One day, when you’re both ready, you’ll find each other.  I promise you will.

Love is the best thing you can hope for, and you will have found somebody who helps you reflect what love is in its purest form: two whole people who make each other better.

 

Okay, so I shattered the romantics and still managed to end on a positive/sappy note.  You proud? 😉

 

Stay sweet, friends.

Caroline

 

An Open Letter to My “19 Year Old” Self

Hello friends, it’s story time.  Story time followed by a life lesson.  Because when don’t my posts have some deep, philosophical meaning interwoven throughout the words.  Ha. Ha.

Once upon a time (the other day), I was on a long bus ride with my cousin.  In order to pass the time, we watched the video of Taylor Swift’s Vogue 73 Questions interview – only instead of just watching, we paused it after every question and gave our own answers as well.

It was all fun and games at first.  There were questions like, “What do you have to have in your fridge at all times?” and, “What are your favorite song lyrics?”
But then there was the question, “If you were to go back and talk to your 19 year old self, what would you say?”

That got me thinking.

Oh no, we all know what happens when Caroline starts thinking..

Just kidding.

Maybe.

Anyway, my first answer was, of course, “I’m only 18 so I’ll just skip that one.”  But then my cousin asked what I would say to my 15 year old self.

Hmm.. What would I say to my 15 year old self?

If I could tell “past me” anything, I’d tell her that her own happiness and well-being is the is the most important thing.  And it’s not tied to anyone else’s.

Oh my, that’s a big one.

I would march right up to “past me” and say, Hey girl, don’t you know that you don’t need that boy, or that relationship, or that *insert what you will*, to be happy?

Because that’s what I wish somebody had told me. Honestly, I do.

I am in (what should be) my first year of college, and this is the first time that I haven’t been in a relationship or “talking to someone” since the 8th grade!  (Well, 7th grade, actually, but I still haven’t decided if that specific instance counts haha)  And guess what… I’ve never been more happy.

Imagine that.

I spent more of my time at 13, 15, 17 years old worried about what other people thought than how I was feeling.  Worried about what whichever boy I was crushing on at that time thought.  And for a little while I’d be happy.  I found this pseudo-happiness that was based on my relationships with other people, and (surprise, surprise) that happiness eventually faded.  Every. Time.

The truth is the opposite of what “past me” thought.  You can’t be happy with other people until you’re happy with yourself.  I honestly believe that.  You can’t love anyone else until you learn to love yourself.

So, yeah, if I ran into 15 year old me on the street that’s what I would say to her.  I’d be all, “You do you, boo boo.”  And then I’d send her on her merry way – to obsess over The Avengers or Niall Horan or whatever the heck I was into that week.

I wish I knew these things at 15 years old not only for my own happiness, but also to avoid the heartbreak that I caused others.  I am nothing short of remorseful for causing boys to fall in love with me and then breaking their hearts when I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.  To those boys I would like to sincerely apologize.  I thought those relationships would make me happy.  Clearly I was wrong.  18 year old me hasn’t found 15 year old me and rewritten the past… Yet.

But honestly though, who wouldn’t fall in love with me?  Just look at me.

Clearly I’m just oozing with self confidence today. Seriously, I don’t know what’s up.

In all seriousness, I want everyone to know to put their own happiness first. And know that nobody defines that happiness but you.  Don’t try to love somebody before you love you.  Save yourself the time and the heartbreak and take it from me: it doesn’t work.

I gave my cousin a WAY shortened version of this on the bus ride.  It probably went something like, “I’d tell my 15 year old self to not look to relationships or boys for happiness.”

Oh well, aren’t you glad you got the unabridged version? 😉

As always, stay sweet.

Caroline Victoria

P.S. In case you were wondering,
1. I always HAVE to have tortillas in my fridge, and
2. My favorite song lyrics are either,

– “They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it’s better than drinking alone” from Piano Man by Billy Joel (who is the greatest ever, btw)

– “Freedom… that’s just some people talking.  Your prison is walking through this world all alone” from Desperado by The Eagles

– “You call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest” from All Too Well by T Swizzle herself.

Stay sweet,

Caroline

The Accordion Player

I take acting classes on weeknights in DC.  I take the metro to the city and then it’s a little less than a 20 minute walk to the conservatory.  I then come home the same way.  I go through this routine 3 times a week, and most times I don’t think twice about anything that goes on around me.  Yesterday, however, there was a small change in my routine…

During my walk home yesterday, there was a little old man playing the accordion on a street corner.  He had his case open to collect money from people, but there wasn’t much inside.  When I saw the man playing, I decided to sit for a moment and enjoy the music.  Learning to play the accordion is on my bucket list, and it was a nice night, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt anything.

In the 10-15 minutes that I sat listening, everyone who walked by didn’t give the accordion player a second glance.  No one paid him any mind as he continued to play upbeat music.  Maybe nobody else cared, but I enjoyed the music thoroughly (I appreciate when anyone does something like that because I know first-hand what it’s like to be completely ignored by a crowd while you’re performing).

Once I was ready to leave, I walked up to the man, dropped some money in his case, and told him that I thought his music was awesome.  Now, for those of you who don’t know me, it takes quite a bit of courage for me to strike up a conversation with a stranger.  However, in this case, I was excited to hear what stories this man might have to share.

I guess I was just in an abnormally social mood haha.

Much to my disappointment, though, the man wouldn’t look at me.  He said thank you when I gave him money but completely ignored me when I told him how cool it was that he could play the accordion or that I too wanted to learn.  After standing there awkwardly for a few seconds, I simply said, “Have a nice night,” and continued my walk to the metro.

On my way home I couldn’t help but be a little offended by how rude the man was to me.  Especially when it’s so difficult for me to just talk to random people.  I had made an effort and been completely shut down.

After a while, though, I realized that the accordion player was simply a product of his environment.  He was ignored all day and then he turned around and ignored me.

I realized this and became a little upset, honestly.  Our world is incredibly closed off.  If I smile at a stranger that I pass on the street I receive a weird look.

When did friendliness become such a foreign concept?

Anyway, all this to say that I want to challenge you to go out of your way to show a little kindness during the craziness of your daily routine.  You never know who might need it.

And even if you get shut down, have the satisfaction of knowing that you made an effort.  Maybe you were the first in a series of events in that person’s life that will break down the walls they have put up.

Never underestimate the power of a simple kindness.

 

Stay sweet,

Caroline

Because I’m A Huge Movie Nerd…

Okay so I’ve come to the realization that my posts are usually super serious.  This is fine, but I thought it would be a nice change of pace to post about something less “serious” (even though there are few things that I take less seriously than movies so lol maybe not).

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve made some movie suggestions in random posts here and there.  I like to just throw them in when I see fit.  So I thought I’d make a list of movies that everyone should see in their lifetime.  Keep in mind, these are in no particular order because picking which ones are most important and which ones aren’t would not only be incredibly difficult, but it would also hurt my heart.

Without further ado, here are the movies that you should see before you die 😉

1. Star Wars. This means every Star Wars movie ever. But you have to watch them in the order they came out, not number order.  That’s 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 7… So far.  S. how exciting is it that they’re making A TON more?!
2. Forrest Gump. Wow, talk about a fantastic  10/10 would recommend.
3. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. This is, in my opinion, John Hughes’ greatest work – though The Breakfast Club is a very close second.  I quote Ferris Bueller more than probably any other movie.  Because it’s so choice. 
4. The Breakfast Club. Another John Hughes classic, this film is not only hilarious, but it is still completely relevant to some of the things that teenagers struggle with every day.
5. Back to the Future. The entire trilogy is fab, but I could literally watch the original over and over again and never get bored.
6. Megamind. Talk about the most underrated animated movie of our time. Many people haven’t seen this fabulous Dreamworks film, but they definitely should.  It’s one of those movies that gets funnier each time you watch it.
7. Breakfast At Tiffany’s. Of course we have to get some older ones on the list.  I could watch this movie every day until the end of time. Also, I’m just going to make a blanket statement and say that you should pretty much see any Audrey Hepburn movie (Charade, Roman Holiday, How To Steal A Million, ) because she’s flawless.
8. Clueless. I actually do watch this movie every day… Okay maybe not every day, but it’s at least every two weeks. 
9. High Society. This movie has a killer cast.  Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra?! I have a pretty big thing for Frankie, by the way.  Louis Armstrong himself is also in the film so you know it rocks 😉
10. Dumb and Dumber. Ah yes, the mother of all slapstick comedy.  I have never laughed so hard for so long as I did when I watched this movie.  If I could somehow watch it for the first time again I would do it in a heartbeat.  Fun Fact: the scene when Harry and Lloyd are in the van with the guy who’s trying to kill them (the “Mock, yeah” or “Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?” scene) was all improv.  If that’s not impressive, I don’t know what is. 
11. The Shawshank Redemption. There really isn’t much I can say about this movie except that you have to watch it for yourself to fully understand how incredible it is.
12. Every Rocky movie. Except Rocky V. That one is kind of a disappointment haha.
13. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Ever heard the expression, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend?”  This is where that came from.  This movie contains one of the most famous musical numbers in film history – Marilyn Monroe’s performance of Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend – and it is also just a fun comedy.  Jane Russell doesn’t disappoint either.
14. The Count of Monte Cristo. Okay so remember when I said Megamind was the most underrated animated film?  This one is probably just the most underrated film.  I honestly don’t know why it wasn’t more popular.  It’s an incredible, well-acted movie with a phenomenal message. It’s based off of the book with the same title by Alexandre Dumas, which is equally incredible and one of my two favorite books.
15. The Wizard of Oz. Seriously if you haven’t seen this, drop everything you’re doing right now and watch it.  I mean it.  Now. 
16. Anastasia.  Yes, the 20^th Century Fox animated movie about the lost Russian princess.  It’s been one of my favorite movies since before I can remember and I has some killer songs.  Two thumbs up.
17. Indiana Jones Trilogy. Notice I said trilogy.  Don’t even watch the fourth one.

While I could go on forever about many more movies, I think I’ll leave it at these.  Also, the AFI 100 Greatest American Films of All Time list is definitely something you should look into.  I’m currently working on watching every movie on the list with my brother.  That, and every Sinatra movie ever haha.

Did I miss anything?  What would you add to my list? Leave a comment with your suggestions!

Stay sweet,

Caroline

Toughing It Out

I want to start off by correcting a common misconception: being a lady does not mean you can’t be tough.  That’s the truth.  In fact, I believe a lady is tough.  This doesn’t mean not letting people in or being mean, and you can still be dainty and classy while remaining tough.

Here’s what I mean.

First, do not take offense.  I know, whatever they said or did might have been awful.  Maybe it was even “unforgiveable.”  But take my advice and forgive.  Don’t get offended by stupid things.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel as though women get offended a whole lot easier than men do.  Why is that?  Because we’re soft?  Because we’re too emotional?

I don’t believe that for a second.

Look, life sucks sometimes.  I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t.  But true grace is when you extend forgiveness to those who don’t deserve it.  It’s not getting offended by every little thing.  Don’t let your life be governed by your emotions.

Second, being a lady does not mean you can’t fight back when life throws garbage at you.  Sometimes the only thing we can do is get up and keep going.  Look the storm of life right in the face and shout, “Do your worst, for I will do mine.”  (Yes, I stole that from The Count of Monte Cristo… Great movie by the way.  Everyone should watch it.)

Anyway, just know that in order to get to where you want to be in life you have to be tough.  Being tough doesn’t mean you aren’t kind, just that you always fight for what you want and what you believe in.

I’ll leave you with my favorite quote of all time from one of the greatest movie scenes ever…

Be classy, but tough.

And as always, stay sweet.

Caroline

My Thoughts on People Watching

I always found it interesting how it feels to just sit by yourself and watch the people around you. I know it may sound creepy and I’m not that weird I promise, but if you just watch how others interact its funny the things you see. How much attention one pays to the other, you can usually figure out a group dynamic, and you also realize how many people sit in silence just on their phones.

You can also tell how one person changes once the companion is gone. They immediately pick up their phone maybe so they don’t seem so alone, or they stare down at the table trying to eat faster so they can leave.

I see so many people who act as if sitting alone is shameful, as if it labels them as a loner or unpopular. They sit all gloomy and only light up when their partner shows up to relieve them of their uncomfortable state. Isn’t that interesting?

I suggest you try it. Eat lunch by yourself one day and just watch people who come in and out.  Watch how they interact with each other, and if you happen to make eye contact, smile!  There’s no shame in wandering eyes.

Stay beautiful, lovelies.

Freya

Being A Class Act, Part 3

Here it is!  The third and final part to Being A Class Act.  Enjoy! 🙂

13. LISTEN TO OTHERS AND LET THEM TALK ABOUT THEM

It is vital to your relationships with other people that you listen when they talk to you.  Don’t just stare at them while mentally preparing the next thing you’re going to say. Actually listen to them.  Also, here’s a little piece of advice my mom gave me a while back: when having a conversation with somebody, let them talk about them.  Don’t reply with something similar about yourself.  When they finish a thought, ask them another question about themselves.  If they talk about themselves the entire time, they’ll end up leaving the conversation thinking that you’re the nicest and coolest person ever.  We like to talk about us.  That’s just how we are.

14. ALWAYS USE “yes” AND “no”

A classy woman never says yep, yeah, nope, or nah.  Come to think of it, simply try to speak properly ALL THE TIME in your everyday life.  Learn correct grammar.  It’s true, I’m a bit of a grammar Nazi, but either way it is elegant for a woman to speak the way she should.  It goes along with being educated.  If you’re educated you should use proficient speech.

15. SEND THANK YOU’S

Old fashioned?  Maybe, but I believe that woman of class should always try to send a hand-written thank you.  If it seems outdated, that’s good.  We are trying to swim against the current after all, and that means doing things that most people don’t.

16. SOCIAL MEDIA SELF-CONTROL

This is huge.  It is very tempting to use social media as an outlet.  To tweet about how hurt we feel or how horrible someone is because they’ve wronged us in some way.  It also takes quite a bit of will power to not post or share a million things with your political opinions or comment when people’s opinions differ from yours.  I understand that it’s hard. I do. That being said, don’t do it.  Social media self-control is important in order to maintain one’s image of elegance and poise.  Next time you want to subtweet, or comment something harsh, or post a not-so-classy photo, please refrain.  Someone that I admire greatly once wrote, “Class takes the high road.”  Remember ladies: classy, not trashy. 😉

17. READ AND BE UP TO DATE ON CURRENT EVENTS

This also plays into being educated.  Know what’s going on in the world.  Turn Netflix off one episode earlier in order to read a book for a half hour each day (I highly recommend Steinbeck, just saying).  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: knowledge is sexy.

18. BE CULTURED

It is essential for a classy woman to know a thing or two about culture.  Watch classic movies (Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, etc.) and listen to old music, attend ballets, operas, and symphonies if you have the means.  Extend your range beyond Pitch Perfect and the latest song from Justin Bieber.  Not that there’s anything wrong with those, I love JBiebz and comedies as much as the next person.  Just be sure to dig a little deeper than that.  Be a well-rounded individual.

19. ALWAYS DO WHAT IS RIGHT, EVEN WHEN IT IS NOT EXPECTED OF YOU

I’ve saved the best for last.  Ladies, if someone wrongs you, everyone is going to expect you to fight back.  An eye for an eye, right?  Wrong.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t be strong or that you should allow yourself to be pushed around.  But know that there is something to be said for handling every situation with grace.  If that means defending yourself by fighting back, then do it, but remember to check yourself.  Make sure what you are doing is right before you do it.  When things don’t go her way, a lady does not react.  She responds.

I hope you guys enjoyed this three part post and that some of these 19 tips stay with you to help make your life a little more elegant.  Let’s all try to live in a way that would make Audrey proud haha.  Remember: classy women swim upstream 😉

Stay sweet,

Caroline Victoria

Being A Class Act, Part 2

If you missed “Being A Class Act, Part 1,” be sure to check it out.  Here is part 2 of this 3 part post.  Enjoy!

7. ONLY GIVE COMPLIMENTS WHEN YOU SINCERELY MEAN IT

This is pretty straight forward.  Don’t give out fake or empty compliments just to be polite.  You can be polite without being fake.  Also, your compliments will mean more if they are rare.

8. ALWAYS BE READY TO HELP

Not only should you always help out when it is asked of you, but you should be paying attention in order to notice when your help is needed – without having to be asked.  The best kind of lady is one who goes out of her way to be as helpful as possible.

9. DON’T CALL HIM

Ladies, know you are worth being pursued.  I’m obviously talking about the scenario where you’re waiting to get a call after the first date, once you’re actually dating you can call him all you want haha.  But after the first date, let him call/text you.  A lady never chases a man who is not willing to chase her first.

10. LET HIM PAY FOR DINNER and don’t comment

This one might get a rise out of some feminists, but here’s the thing: a lady never squabbles over the check.  This goes two ways.  If he offers to pick up the tab, DO NOT ARGUE.  If he expects you to cover half, DO NOT ARGUE (but afterwards run far, far away. You probably don’t want the kind of man who expects you to pay for yourself, especially on the first date).  Now, if you’ve gone out a few times and you know he’s hurting for cash, by all means help him out.  You just have to know the situation.

11. DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR

A classy woman is not gullible and makes sure she knows what’s true and what’s not.  Believe me, I’m still very much working on this.

12. KNOW YOUR WORTH AND BE ELEGANT

Perhaps I’ll ease the feminist’s minds a little bit with this one.  Someone who is classy is someone who is confident.  Know your worth!  Most of all, know that your worth does not come from anyone’s opinion of you, whether it be your friends, family, or a man.  Your identity is not found in anyone other than yourself and God.  Once you know this, so many other character traits of a classy woman come into play.  Your self-confidence will not only translate into elegance, but also authenticity.  Remember that a lady is authentic; she is unapologetically herself.

Stay sweet, my friends.

Caroline

Being A Class Act, Part 1

Perhaps one of the most important things in my life is being classy.  Talk about swimming upstream!  So many people claim to be “classy,” but it takes so much more than simply stating it.  Class is a way of life.  You’ve got to be able to put your money where your mouth is!

I oftentimes see a quote that goes something like, “In a world of Kardashians, be an Audrey,” and I believe this is a perfect example of how being a classy lady is misconstrued.  Why name names?  Yes, Audrey Hepburn is one of my role models and the epitome of class, but why even mention the name Kardashian?  In trying to make a classy quote, we’ve now begun putting others down.  A classy woman does not gossip.

Never thought about it that way?  That’s what this post is all about.  Here is part one of how to be a class act.

1. DRESS TASTEFULLY

I feel like this one is the most obvious.  I read someone say once that you don’t have to be rich to be classy.  You don’t!  This doesn’t mean you have to look super fancy all the time, just look your best and carry yourself with class.  It’s all about attitude.

2. BE GRACIOUS. Say “hello” and always “it’s a pleasure to meet you”

This one is hard for me, but I’m working on it.  It’s nice to say hello rather than “hey” or “hi,” but sometimes it does feel weird going around saying “hello” all the time.  I mainly try to do that when I first meet people.  The most important part of this one, though, is to be gracious.  Always smile and be happy to meet people.  You simply want to put your best foot forward.

3. STAY OFF YOUR PHONE

This is a biggie.  In general, being on your phone is fine, but please don’t use your phone when sitting to eat a meal, or going to coffee, or just talking to someone in general.  It is phenomenally rude.  I try to not answer texts or calls unless it’s one of my parents.  If it has the potential of being an emergency, then by all means answer the phone.

4. REFRAIN FROM USING VULGAR LANGUAGE

This is as simple as it gets.  An elegant lady does not curse like a sailor.  That’s just the way it is.  To me, this is the biggest way to swim against the current, because everyone does it.  Here’s how I see it: only curse when it is absolutely necessary.  If everyone knows that you don’t curse and all of a sudden you get so angry that you do, how much more effective would that be?

5. BE EDUCATED

There is a misconception going around that it’s somehow “cute” to be a little ditsy or brag about how much you don’t know. It’s not. Knowledge, like confidence, is sexy.

6. SET YOUR STANDARDS and don’t stray from them

Don’t be “wishy washy.” Know exactly what it is you believe.  Make a conscious decision as to what your values are and stick to them.  Example: As an aspiring actress, I know there will be times when I am scripted to say things that I wouldn’t normally say.  So here’s the boundary I set for myself.  Should I need to say a curse word, I will.  I personally do not like to use those words in my every-day life, however I do not think it is wrong.  Contrarily, I will under no circumstance say something such as “GD” or use the name Jesus Christ as a curse word.  I do not believe that’s okay.

Obviously nobody is perfect (I know I struggle with some of these from time to time), but give it your best effort.  These are all great qualities that a woman of class and poise posseses.

There’s more to come, check out parts two and three soon! 🙂

Stay sweet,

Caroline

Being Comfortable With You

In life we ask questions.  So many things are unknown to us; there are so many new things to be discovered.  The world we live in is full of life’s little mysteries – some of which aren’t so little.  Yet, of all the questions that seem to constantly float around, I always find myself coming back to one:

Why is it so hard for us to be comfortable in our own skin?

I’m going to be honest with you all.  I don’t have the answer.  I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I do.  I wish I did.

I’m proud of who I am.  That’s the truth.  But I get insecure just as much as the next person.  Why is that?  Is it because as humans we crave acceptance?  Or to fit in?  And if so, how come I can so desperately want to stand out in some areas, but fit in in others?

What I’ve learned in my 18 years of experience (it’s so much, I know), is that in life we just have to be tough.  We all have our insecurities and we’ve all had people say things about us that made us want to crawl into a hole.  All that just teaches us to be thick skinned.

The thing that I find humorous is that people think they have to share their opinion.  I find it especially funny when they share their opinions on matters that are absolutely none of their concern.

Here’s a very minor example to demonstrate exactly what I mean:

I enjoy almost all of the music that my brother has on his phone.  I like his music, but he DOES NOT like mine.  He always goes through my phone and makes fun of the music that I have.  But the thing is, I buy music for me.  It’s my phone, not his.  In the end, his opinion doesn’t matter because I’m the one who’s going to end up listening to the music.

It’s your life.  People are always going to feel like they need to throw in their two cents.  That’s fine, but always remember to take it with a grain of salt.  I’m not going to tell you to not be insecure or self-conscious because I know first-hand how that’s easier said than done.  I think that’s all part of growing up and figuring out not only who you are, but also who you’re going to become.

You’re human.  You doubt yourself sometimes.  I get that.  I don’t know why it’s so difficult for all of us to be comfortable in our own skin, but next time you’re feeling insecure just remember these two things:

1. Regardless of how you’re feeling at the present time, you are loved.
2. It’s your life. Figure out what makes you happy and stick to it no matter what opinions other people throw at you.  You do you, boo boo.

Be unapologetically you. And of course stay sweet 😉

Caroline

Desperado

Listen up, friends, this is so important.  In my last post I talked about how I, like many people, always seem to be running.  We want our freedom – we don’t want to be tied down.

I think this is good.  I really do.  Having said that, we all need to be careful.

If you’ve never heard the song Desperado by The Eagles, I highly recommend that you listen to it.  It basically says everything that I’m trying to say in this post haha.  There’s one line in particular that really sticks out to me though.  It says, “Freedom, oh freedom, well that’s just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone.”

That’s pretty much all I’m trying to say in a nutshell.

Here’s the thing:  freedom is great.  It’s fun and sometimes even necessary.  But it’s very important that we remember to be dependent sometimes as well.  Because we are.  As humans we need people. Yes, there are introverts and extroverts, but in the end we all benefit from our relationships with other people.  Nobody likes to feel alone.  And let me be the first to tell you – there is a major difference between being alone and feeling alone.

So go out and be crazy.  Be spontaneous and live life to the fullest.  Let your inner gypsy out.  I know I want to do that just about 95% of the time.  But remember that freedom doesn’t have to mean shutting people out.  Freedom doesn’t have to be by yourself.  Go on adventures with other people sometimes too.  Don’t wake up one day way down the line and have built yourself a prison of loneliness.  Stop running long enough to let somebody run with you.  Nobody really wants to walk through this world all alone.

Stay sweet,

Caroline

Running From What?

I realized something about myself lately: I have a tendency to run.  It’s ironic because I hate running. Literal running.  However, metaphorically I find myself running almost always and honestly I can’t say why.
That’s the thing with most people, isn’t it? We say we want one thing. We dream about it, imagine it, make up scenarios in our heads with our perfect reflections of how life should be. Yet somehow, when we’re just beginning to close in on it, we turn around and run far, far away.

All this to say that I realized I’m a hypocrite, really.  I’m looking for this fairy tale ending (that doesn’t exist, by the way), but as soon as I come remotely close to it I run for the hills. And honestly, I don’t think I’m alone in this.
Anyway, after much reflection, I decided on two things. One is that perhaps I don’t like the idea of vulnerability (and by perhaps I mean I definitely don’t). The second is that I’m set against predictability.
Not too long ago I was listening to a song by Gavin DeGraw, and one line just hit me right in the face. “I hear people go crazy for steady. But me, I run every time.”  How relatable! I sat there for a minute thinking, Holy crap, Gavin, how do you write such perfect lyrics to say what I couldn’t find the words to?!
If you’re anything like me, here’s what I came up with: we’re gypsies. Seriously. The thought of being tied to a specific place or a specific routine or a specific anything mortifies me.  I mean I’m just going out on a limb here, but I hope someone out there feels the same way.
I think that’s okay though. Honestly. I’m 18 years old. If I want to be spontaneous I should be able to, right?

So yes, I do run. And yes, I’ve broken a few hearts on my quest to avoid predictability. I think about that a lot actually. But at the end of the day I believe you need to be happy with yourself before you can make anyone else happy as well.
So I guess what I’ve been running from is mediocrity.  I’ve been high-tailing it out of normalcy, because I’d take spontaneity over familiarity any day.
Stay sweet, you guys.
Caroline

Expectations

I’ve heard people say that they never set their expectations too high so that if things don’t turn out the way they planned they won’t end up being too disappointed.  I remember the first time I heard this.  My first thought was, what is that?

Honestly, what kind of attitude is that to have?  I’ve thought about this a lot, and I don’t agree with that at all.  I’m a girl.  This means that I make up my way-too-perfect scenarios in my head all the time.  Every girl does it.

Just today I received a bit of good news and I immediately started imagining the effects of the news and what it would mean for my life.  I do it all the time, and most times things don’t go the way I planned.  But life is an adventure like that.  Don’t rob yourself of life’s simple joys by not hoping for things.  Because that’s what it is.  Setting low expectations is the same as not hoping for anything good to happen in your life.

I was on Pinterest looking for a good quote/picture about expectations to include in this post and I was severely disappointed by what I found.  So many of them said such negative things.

Guys, please don’t fall into this way of thinking that says expectations are the reason for all the bad things in life.  Bad things are inevitable.  I believe that setting high expectations is synonymous with dreaming big.  And for goodness sake people, DREAM BIG!

In the end, a little disappointment and even a little heartbreak is worth it.  I sincerely believe that.  Don’t be so protective of yourself that you don’t believe great things can happen.  Set your expectations crazy high and believe in them wholeheartedly.

What’s the point of living if we’re not living every situation, every day, and even every seemingly insignificant moment to its fullest potential?

Stay sweet, my friends.

Caroline

Homebodies Welcome

If you love to sit by the fire with a good book and hot chocolate, hang out at home with family and friends, have in-depth conversations, and curl up on the couch to watch an old movie, this might be the place for you.  If you’d rather stay in and play music through the kitchen on a Friday night while you cook a big dinner instead of going out on the town or to a party, we might have more in common than you think.

I am a hardcore homebody.  Yes, that’s a real thing.  I love rainy days, especially in the summer.  I love to nestle in on the sofa with my mom and sisters and watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  Most of all, I love quality time.

The typical thing to do when you’re going out with friends as a teenager is to go see a movie.  While I love movies (I could really write an entire other post on my love for movies of virtually all types), if I’m hanging out with friends I’d rather go get coffee or dinner or froyo.  Something where conversations can happen and memories can be made.  Especially now that I’ve graduated high school, hanging out with my friends is a rarity and something that I really cherish.  I’d rather not spend it in a dark theater if I can help it.

Nothing is more important than spending time with those who matter to you.  I take classes at night and get home pretty late.  Usually the first thing I want to do is crawl into bed, but there’s this thing that stops me probably 3 out of 7 days of the week: my brother.  I have a 16 year old brother, who is quite possibly my favorite person, who loves movies almost as much as I do.  The nights where he doesn’t come up to me and say, “Hey let’s watch _______,” are rare, I can promise you that.  And guess what I say almost every time.  Yes!  Even when I’ve been out forever, even when I have to be up at 5:45am to go sing at church – I usually answer that with, “Sure, let’s do it,” or “Let’s watch ______ instead.”

This past Christmas I just got one present for my whole family.  I bought us a trivia game.  Maybe it’s nerdy, maybe that’s a very “dad-gift” to get.  But guess what it created?  Quality time.  With the people I love most.  And it’s an at-home activity that keeps us in on a Friday night and soothes the competitive nature of my family.  This trivia game is fab by the way (fun fact: I’m a sucker for trivia.  Yes, I’m a huge nerd, get over it haha).

Being a homebody is a little different, it’s true.  But #iamsalmon after all.  So if you’re a homebody like me, embrace it!  Drink your tea and watch the rain and listen to your music and make memories with the people you love.  There’s nothing better!

And most of all, stay sweet 😉

Caroline

P.S.  if you love going out and don’t consider yourself a homebody at all, and the thought of staying in and playing trivia games absolutely bores you to tears, go out and have fun!  Never stop doing you.  I’ll let you in on a little secret: sometimes I wish I could spend more than 10 minutes at a party without wanting to go home and put on sweatpants.  Kudos to you who can!