To the boy I’m going to marry:

Since the beginning of 2017 I’ve developed a new habit. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not looking for a relationship right now, and that I would never want to jump into anything that I’m not ready for. But every once in a while I get lonely.  I am human after all.

In those moments of feeling alone and wishing I had my buddy for life, I write. To him. I’ve gotten in the habit of writing letters, each one of which begins with the phrase, “to the boy I’m going to marry:”

I’m not sure if the boy I end up marrying will ever see these letters. I still haven’t decided. But it’s a great outlet for me when I need to talk to that someone who, unfortunately, I have not had the pleasure of meeting yet.

I have decided to include one of my letters in this post to give a little bit of an idea of what I’m talking about. And to suggest to you, the reader, that if you’re ever feeling lonely to try this out.

So, without further ado…

 

To the boy I’m going to marry:

Do you ever think about how much fun we’re going to have? I think about that all the time. I can’t wait to just explore with you. And go on adventures with you. It’s gonna be so fun. I’m not trying to wish away the present, because I really do love my life currently, but sometimes I think it would be really nice to have that partner in crime already. You know, just to have someone who always wants to do things with me. 

I wonder where I’ll find you. Where will our epic life adventure begin? Is it gonna be in New York? Will we wander together through the Concrete Jungle in our coats and hats and eat lemon cake (the best lemon cake in the world, btw) at Levain up on the Upper West Side? Is it gonna be in Los Angeles? Will we explore La La Land in our shorts and tees and go surfing (maybe I could learn lol) on the beach? 

What about baseball? Do you love the Orioles like I do? Will we be rooting against each other at ball games? What team is your team? I guess I could learn to love them also… just as long as it’s not the Yankees, Red Sox, Toronto, Kansas City, Pirates, or Nationals. If it’s not any of those teams then we should get along quite nicely 😉

I cannot wait to meet you and start our adventure. I hope you know how wonderful you are and how loved you are. I hope you know and trust that God is holding your future. I hope you don’t worry about that. I pray for you all the time. I pray that your heart is so wrapped in and in love with Jesus that I never once have to worry about how you’re going to love me. And most of all I just pray that you’re happy. I hope life is treating you well and you’re enjoying every crazy second of it. I know I am. 🙂 

love,

the girl you’re going to marry

 

Stay sweet, y’all.

Caroline

why you shouldn’t enter that relationship.

So you’re single, right? And you just want somebody to love, right? I get that. I really do.

I am constantly sitting around planning out my life with my future husband. Like, constantly. “Wouldn’t it be cute if we did this,” “it’d be awesome if we went here,” “oh, I’ll definitely be putting that in my wedding.” These are my thoughts on the daily, I kid you not.
The thing is, though, that just because you’re single doesn’t mean you should date the first guy you have a crush on. You shouldn’t say yes to the first guy who asks you out. No matter how gorgeous he is. Or how hard it may be to say no because of said gorgeousness. ;p

Here’s why.

After flying solo for quite some time (quite some time lollll), I’ve figured out a thing or two about myself. Time has made the pitfalls of my past relationships very clear to me. I’ve learned that I actually can do very well on my own. I’ve realized new things that I want. I’ve stopped worrying about my love life for long enough to see in others the type love I want in my own life. A love that’s true and real and good. A love that sees my faults and helps me overcome them. A love that builds me up and encourages me and never pressures me to be something I’m not. A love that causes me to soar. And what’s more, I want to be that love to somebody else.

The biggest thing I’ve figured out after all this time, is that I want my next relationship to be it. I’ve spent the time working on myself and growing on my own into the person I’m going to be (somewhat. I am still 19 after all, let’s everybody calm down), and I want my next person to be my person. Think about it this way, if you spend a year or two or four or seven working on you, why on earth would you want to throw yourself into a relationship with whoever comes along first? All of the growing will have been for naught if you don’t use what you’ve learned and apply it to your next relationship.

True, the next guy you consider dating could potentially be the one for you. But he could not. So please, for the love of God, hold firmly to your convictions, remember what it is you truly want, and say no if this guy doesn’t match up with that. I have seen too many people that I love say they’ve “learned” something from being hurt before and then jump right in to the next thing that comes along. If he’s not what you’ve truly envisioned for yourself, let him go! Choose to have a little faith and don’t just act on your loneliness. Believe that the right relationship is on its way. And if it hasn’t arrived yet, maybe you’re not done learning. Maybe you’ve still got some growing to do.

I want what’s best for everyone. I want everyone to have their epic love story and their perfect match and all that mushy stuff. But I also want the right relationships for everyone.

Don’t waste your time in the wrong relationship. Don’t postpone your happiness.

I love you guys, stay sweet.
Caroline Victoria